When I Knew I Belonged at Father Ryan High School: Student Voices

Belonging has always been at the heart of nurturing students and Father Ryan High School since 1925, but today, belonging matters more than ever.

Students across Nashville and the country enter high school shaped by formative years of disruption from the pandemic and, often, digital isolation. Meaningful connections become essential to the educational and personal experience. Research consistently shows that when students feel accepted, supported, respected, and connected to their school community, they are more engaged academically and socially and are better positioned to thrive.

At Father Ryan, belonging is much more than fitting in. It is the core of our promise: You Will Be Known. You Will Be Loved.®

Belonging is rooted in our commitment to seeing each person as created in the image and likeness of God. It is woven into every experience, in the classroom, through our House System, on a team, in a club, through shared traditions, at Mass, or while serving others. We call students to grow in relationship with others and invite them to contribute their unique gifts to the life of our community.

What does belonging look like at Father Ryan?

We asked the experts—our students—about when and why they knew they belonged.

Elliot Hartz '28: “I remember my first ever summer workout for soccer my freshman year. Coming into a new environment where I didn't know anyone, I was super nervous. I walked up to the field and was instantly greeted by so many different people. I left that practice feeling so welcomed and appreciated on a team that I hardly knew.”

Activities: Oak House, Varsity Soccer (named TSSAA Top Girls Soccer Player ahead of the 2026-2027 season), Varsity Basketball, Hayes Scholar, Spanish Honor Society, Magnificat: Girls Faith Group,, Mu Alpha Theta, Student Ambassador

Came to Father Ryan from St. Matthew School

Samantha Sparks '27: “My cheer team is where I have felt truly known and loved on campus. I get to participate in a sport that I love while building some of the best friendships I could have imagined. The support I receive from my teammates and coaches is something incredibly special and has made a lasting impact on my experience at Father Ryan.”

Activities: Elliston House, Football and Competition Cheer

Came to Father Ryan from Brentwood Middle School

Gordon Aden '27: “Experiencing the feeling of belonging does not happen overnight. It took me a lot of effort to put myself out there. At Father Ryan, there are countless activities, extracurriculars, and clubs to get involved in. Through pursuing my interests in baseball, football, and the Brotherhood faith group, I found people who share my interests. However, I feel that I truly belong when teachers, staff, and other students are excited to see and talk to me. They know me, care about me, and love me for who I am.”

Activities: Norwood House, Varsity Baseball, Varsity Football, Hayes Scholar, Brotherhood Boys’ Faith Group, Spanish Honor Society, Minister of Holy Communion, Mu Alpha Theta, National Honor Society, Peer Mentor, Spanish Club, Student Ambassador, Youth Leadership Workshop

Came to Father Ryan from J.T. Moore Middle School

Why Belonging Matters in High School: An Educator’s Viewpoint

We talked with two faculty members about how Father Ryan cultivates a welcoming, inclusive environment and why it is so critical to academic success and personal development for young people:

Amy Duke, Director of Houses, teacher for Freshman Seminar

Kelli McClendon, Theatre Director, teacher for Freshman Seminar, Head of Trinity House, Father Ryan past parent, and Center for the Arts Manager

Why is belonging so critical developmentally for high school students?

Amy Duke: High school students are in the middle of figuring out who they are, where they fit, and who they want to become. Part of our job as educators is not to answer those questions for them, but to give them experiences, relationships, and opportunities that help them discover their own answers.

Some students come with big groups of friends, while others don't know anybody and are entering a new environment. We create multiple opportunities for students to meet people and try things through New Student Orientation, New Family Welcome, and Father Ryan’s House System, which gives every student an immediate place to belong.

Are there other points throughout a student’s four-year journey where they might deepen belonging? Why is that important?

Amy: All four years, students have opportunities to find their people. They might be intentional situations, like a House Mentor Group, where they interact with people outside their usual grade-level friend groups. When they are in “the Jungle” [the student section at Father Ran sporting events], they are with their entire grade. Every time we have an activity on campus, students have the opportunity meet someone new.

What is the Father Ryan House System and how does it support belonging?

Amy: We create circumstances where those interactions can happen, and relationships grow naturally. Everyone belongs to one of the six Houses. To be in a House, you do not have to try out, be athletic, or outgoing. You are placed in a House when you walk on campus and are already part of a smaller group. We make that community even smaller by placing students in a Mentor Group within the House, with 20-25 students, across all grades and interests, and 2-3 faculty members. Students spend all four years with the same Mentor Group, giving them the chance to see the same people almost every day and build connections that probably wouldn't happen organically. A freshman and a senior aren't necessarily going to seek each other out in the Courtyard, but they do in Mentor Group.

Kelli McClendon: The House System is about building community, creating connections, and being inclusive. During the first days of school this year, as classes changed, I witnessed one of my Trinity sophomores helping a first-year student find his way on campus. Because they knew each other from Mentor Group, the freshman felt comfortable enough to ask for their help.

In Houses, we have students from all walks of life come together. It is fun seeing the star lacrosse player and the AP scholar really connecting on an authentic level. I like to find the kid who may not get that much attention, discovering his or her niche and helping them fit in. This is what every House faculty mentor does. I also do this as one of the moderators for the Purple Masque Players (drama club). We create a tight-knit family from a wide variety of students who have one thing in common: they love to put on plays and musicals.

How does Father Ryan intentionally create a culture of belonging?

Kelli: We also have Freshman Seminar, which is a required class for all freshmen. [Father Ryan’s President, Paul Davis ’81, teaches the Transfer Seminar.] I have a class of 20 freshmen who I see every other day. We explicitly talk about how to get involved and how to engage with Father Ryan traditions, which are one of the key ways students develop a sense of belonging. We also cover developing good study habits, trying new activities, and finding help at Father Ryan. We also have 42 student clubs, 42 Mentor Groups, and 38 athletic teams. If no club fits your interests, you can ask our Dean of Students about starting one.

Amy: We do not expect every student to find belonging in the same place. Our job is to create enough points of connection so that every student can discover where they fit. We build community and belonging across the entire House and campus. Heads of Houses, like Kelli, know their students much like teachers know the students in their classrooms, recognizing when a student is struggling or feeling lost. Mentors then flag that student so other adults on campus can help him or her find belonging.

This year, in Mentor Group, all students were asked to write two personal goals and two academic goals for the school year. The faculty/staff mentors talked with them individually about their goals and helped them create strategies to reach their goals.

Why is belonging foundational to success in high school?

Kelli: When you feel like you belong somewhere, your confidence increases. When your confidence increases, you become more willing to put yourself out there. It is cause and effect.

Amy: When a student feels like he or she belongs, the student is willing to take risks and ask for help. If you are willing to ask for help and take risks, you're going to be successful academically and feel comfortable participating in daily life, which makes your experience in high school better.

We are seeing our students take on more responsibilities to help others feel like they belong. At New Family Welcome, about 80 students who are House-wide and Mentor Group Leaders, mostly juniors and seniors, oversaw making sure that all the freshmen and transfer students felt comfortable on campus and that everybody in their House knew them.

What can parents say to their child who thinks that he or she needs lots of friends to belong?

Kelli: I had a conversation with a senior last year who felt like she was supposed to have all these friends. I reminded her that it is quality over quantity. Find those one or two people who make you the best version of yourself. Those are your people.

Amy: Not every student will find their best friends in August when they first arrive on campus. Sometimes it takes longer than others, and that is okay.

What advice do you have for parents on how to help their students find belonging?

Get involved as much as you can and keep trying. “Go to athletic events. Sign up for clubs. Talk to people you do not know during class breaks.” – Amy

Connect opportunities to your interests. “We had a student a few years ago who was very quiet. During our annual House System Canned Food Drive, which each House’s Freshman Delegate runs, he stayed after school to help us sort cans because he thought that was fun. We got to know him, and I encouraged him to run for a leadership position in his House. By his senior year, the kid who barely spoke to anyone as a freshman was leading pep rallies. It all started because he saw someone who needed help, stepped in, and in the process, found his people.” - Amy
Reach out to the school if your student is not sure where to belong. “At Father Ryan, when we hear that from a parent, we draw on our network of faculty and staff to help that student find strategies, opportunities, and connections that help them find where they fit.” - Amy
Encourage your child to try a lot of different things. “High school is the one time in your life where you do not need to be pigeonholed. It is a formative time to figure out what you like to do. Try not to be afraid to take a risk.” – Kelli
Remind your child that everyone's journey looks different. “We are all unique individuals. How one student finds belonging may not be how another does. And students do not need one single identity or interest. Belonging means having every part of who they are be valued, seen, and respected.” – Kelli

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