Blog: Understanding Anxiety in Teens

Mental health in teenagers continues to be a top concern for parents, educators, and healthcare professionals five years post-pandemic. During May’s Mental Health Awareness Month, Irish Insights asks Rhonda Jones, Father Ryan’s Director of Personal Counseling and a mental health professional with three decades of expertise, for her guidance on mental health support for teens and how to help them manage stress and anxiety.

Before the pandemic, there was an uptick in teen mental health issues in the U.S., particularly with anxiety and depression, for at least four years prior to 2020. The COVID-19 pandemic created lockdowns, remote learning, and isolation for teenagers, exacerbating this growing mental health crisis.  

The “new normal” that followed amplified mental health issues and disrupted things that are important to all of us, but particularly to young people and their connections with family and friends. Developmentally, peer relationships are essential for teenagers, and school is the primary place for them to interact with one another. When school closed in March 2020, these connections became challenging. Although our students were adapting to remote learning and finding creative ways to connect with each other, we knew that this “new normal” could not replace the need for in-person interactions.

When we made the decision as a school to open in person, a primary consideration was our students’ mental health. We knew that the months between March 2020 and August 2020 had taken a toll on all of us. It helped a great deal to be among friends – for both students and adults – it appeared rather dystopian: masks, temperature checks, a tent in the courtyard where everyone had lunch six feet apart, facing forward.

It feels like ancient history now, but it continues to affect the mental health of our current students. There was a learning curve for students across the country in communicating with others again, to practice the “soft” skills needed for successful interpersonal relationships. The latest student-reported data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that 40% of U.S. high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in the past year.

What anxiety looks like in teenagers

According to recent Tennessee Kidscount data, 38% of high school students reported a feeling of sadness and hopelessness, and 10% of children and teens suffer from anxiety or depression. Youth.gov reports that children and youth with mental health disorders may miss as many as 18 to 22 days of school and are more likely to experience academic difficulties. Both boys and girls can experience anxiety. Anxiety affects 31.9% of teens, with girls (38%) more likely than boys (26.1%) to experience it (source: the National Institute of Mental Health).

It is important to understand the way in which boys and girls present the symptoms. Girls tend to internalize emotions, withdraw, and isolate a little bit more, whereas boys tend to externalize and take more overt risks or engage in impulsive behavior. When you drill down, you often find underlying issues of depression and anxiety in boys previously diagnosed with ADHD or a conduct disorder. They cannot sit still in class and are getting into trouble because their minds are racing due to anxiety. Girls may get overlooked because they are suffering in silence.

I frequently advise parents to “listen to your gut.” Meaning, if you notice a concerning change in your son or daughter’s behavior, talk with him or her about your concerns and listen for any worry, fear, or distress that seems disproportionate or irrational, which can be an indicator of underlying anxieties.

Common threads of anxiety for teenagers today

Young people with anxiety commonly have an overwhelming sense of worry and racing thoughts. Their minds are constantly trying to predict the future or worst-case scenario. My staff and I call it the “What Ifs?” What if this or that happens? And it always has a negative skew.

We often retort: What if it goes well? I encourage parents to say the same when talking with their child about anxious thoughts. It is so important to help young people take a positive spin when imagining an unknown scenario.  

Students today feel super stressed and super overwhelmed. This can be for a variety of reasons: performance in sports, in school, or in relationships. We know how important and valuable relationships are to teenagers. There is a constant comparison to one another in person and on social media. This results in a skewed definition of success presented by the media and Instagram, especially among teenagers.

Many students feel like they have to be all things to everybody. No time taken to consider their own interests or values. Encourage your teen to ask why or for whom he or she is really doing what is causing stress and anxiety. Level-setting expectations and helping them define their goals (not someone else’s) are critical to good mental health and well-being.

Factors affecting teen mental health

There are many contributing factors to whether a teen will have good mental health. Lack of enough sleep contributes to feelings of anxiety and depression. Our bodies and minds need time to recoup and recover. I tell students that they need, on average, nine hours for restorative sleep. Anything less than seven or eight hours can create mental fog and fatigue.

Poor eating habits also contribute to poor mental health. What we put into and how we fuel our bodies has a big impact on our mood and functioning. Kids are not getting enough sleep, and then they counter that with high-caffeinated energy and coffee drinks. This has a dire effect on their well-being.

I talk with every student I see about the need for physical activity. We spend a lot of time sitting in front of computers and (for teens) playing video games or scrolling on social media. We also need to be outside in nature, which is shown to have a big impact on our overall movement and functioning. Spending just 30 minutes a day in nature improves your mood.

We need to encourage teens to connect with each other away from social media, which can be a great connector if it is done in a healthy, well-informed way. However, it does detract from what humans need most: in-person connection.

Teenagers are motivated by their peers. Talking and hanging out with friends without phones and electronics is key. Parents and adults need to equip teens to be aware of how social media algorithms will fill our feeds with negative content. We need to help them understand the importance of choosing content that boosts their mood. We must also encourage them that it is okay to unfollow someone.

Social media amplifies how peers influence and validate one another. This can be a tough concept for students, but a necessary one to preserve their mental health. If you unfollow someone or block them, you no longer see their content. For younger people, no longer being in the know can fuel their worry and anxiety. Am I missing out? What are they saying? What are they doing?

Social media inundates all of us with constant messages and information, which leads to feeling overwhelmed. It never goes away unless you make an intentional choice to pause it.

Is the “Anxious Generation” label accurate?

A lot has been written about and discussed on podcasts about the Anxious Generation, a phrase coined in 2024 by Jonathan Haidt in his best-seller about how social media has altered childhood and teenagers: The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.

We cannot argue with nor dismiss the statistics. There has been a 61% increase in the diagnosis of anxiety for adolescents and teens in the U.S. between 2016 and 2023. But we need to keep in mind that all feelings occur on a continuum and range from situational (worry) to clinical (anxiety). Anxiety is used as a blanket term for “I'm worried” as well as for a clinical diagnosis of anxiety.

As a clinician, I worry that we are quick to label the extremes rather than providing accurate vocabulary to describe new or novel experiences that bring up feelings with which we are unfamiliar. Not knowing how to handle and respond to new feelings can be overwhelming for teens as well as adults. I do believe that teens are overly inundated with information and demands; they are overscheduled and hyperaware of issues, comparisons, and stressors in a way that previous generations were not. Regardless of the level, we are not meant to deal with issues alone.

Creating resiliency in teenagers

As parents, our response to our children voicing these unfamiliar feelings may be, “You must be anxious.” It is more productive to take the time to help them understand these new feelings and build resiliency. I am delighted that we are having open dialogues with our children about their mental health, and this generation is much more knowledgeable and willing to talk about anxiety. Yet, there is a lot of misinformation. As parents, how do we determine the root cause and not default to a diagnosis of anxiety?

First, we need to normalize the experience of anxiety and make friends with anxiety, so to speak. We have villainized anxiety, but at the heart of it, anxiety can motivate us. It can be an indication that something is important to us. The possibility that it could or could not happen can invoke natural feelings of worry, excitement, or a combination that together feels confusing.

Parents should recognize and vocalize that what is occupying their children’s thoughts is very important to them. Avoid dismissal with a “Don’t worry about it” or “It will all work out.” Consider these strategies to help them learn and grow:

• Are the concerns time-limited and situational (the college admissions process or an upcoming test, for example)?
• Remind them they have strategies they can use to prepare for new situations.
• Brainstorm other options to prepare with them, if needed.
• Provide an example of a time when they were unsure and things worked out well, reminding them they have the skills and ability to work through obstacles.
• Remind them that tough things happen, and they have gotten through tough situations before. What did they learn from that?

A family screening of Disney’s Inside Out 2 may prove very helpful. Anxiety is a main character, and it is a very well-done depiction of how to befriend uncertain emotions.

Another critical strategy for parents is to model good behavior, especially with our social media and phone use. Include your teen in conversations when you choose to unfollow or block a friend. Teenagers do not like being told what to do, but they do value our opinions and input.

Start conversations early about social media and mental health, emotions, and resiliency, well before issues occur. Talk about making tough choices. How do they handle things when a friend says, does, or posts something that maybe goes against your values or family values? Talk through what their responses might be and about what and why to comment or post something.

These are conversations that can easily take place at the elementary and middle school level when driving them to school and activities. I call them parallel conversations. Nobody needs to look each other in the eye.

How Father Ryan addresses and supports good mental health

Teens today appear more knowledgeable than previous generations about mental health topics and their own mental health. They are willing to engage in conversations. However, there is still some stigma around therapy and counseling. It seems like a contradiction when someone says, “I have anxiety, but I do not need to talk to a therapist.” Oftentimes, parents are reluctant for their child to engage in counseling.

One of my goals as a counselor at Father Ryan is to de-stigmatize asking for help and demystify the counseling process. It can be intimidating if you do not know what to expect, but it can be helpful and beneficial once students take the first step and come to the counseling office.

At Father Ryan, we focus on knowing and loving each student. It is extremely important that every teen has one or two adults in school whom they feel safe with and can go to if they are experiencing stress. This is a game changer for their whole life trajectory.

During times of stress, it is beneficial for teens to have support from those outside their immediate family as well. Those adults can be an important go-to for help, both for the teen and for the parent. If the parent has any concern, especially during a particularly challenging time, it is important to know that Father Ryan is here for them, too.

I am one of three full-time professional, licensed counselors at Father Ryan, and each semester, we have between two to four master level interns working with us and our students. We take an individual approach for each student, and we can work with students’ outside mental health providers.

We also provide professional development for our staff, teachers, and coaches to equip them with the knowledge they need to advocate for their students around mental health and well-being. If teachers notice a change in a student’s behavior, they refer that student to us. This happens organically at Father Ryan, but just encouraging the adults in our community to connect with students is critical to our promise of “You Will Be Known. You Will Be Loved.” Our faculty training includes ensuring our teachers are comfortable with normalizing the counseling process.

During our required freshman and transfer seminar classes, our counseling staff is introduced. We teach lessons in healthy habits for freshmen to incorporate into their daily routine. This is the first step in providing our students with protective measures when stressful events occur.

Many students tell me that they have incorporated habits like journaling, spending time in nature, and prioritizing sleep with great success. We talk about what works for them and offer other suggestions.

We meet one-on-one with students about a variety of issues, from navigating a relationship to larger issues of grief and loss. If we have concerns about the child's safety or if the situation requires more time and attention than we can provide, we contact the parent and refer the student to an outside provider.

Post-pandemic, the House System has been a great opportunity to connect with students in a different way. Having small daily Mentor Groups [about 20 students per group, all classes, and several adults] gives us great insight and inroads to form relationships with more students.

The transition to high school can be stressful, but especially so if you are new to the Father Ryan or Catholic communities. Our commitment to supporting students’ well-being begins as soon as they are accepted. We recognize that transfer students and freshmen coming from out-of-state, non-parochial schools, and non-traditional schools like homeschool may be more nervous about the transition. Mentor Group Leaders (students and adults) are made aware that these students may need additional support connecting socially to our community.

At Father Ryan, our commitment to ensuring each student is truly known and loved creates the foundation for developing resilience. We support students and their families throughout every challenge and triumph in their high school journey. Together, we nurture not just academic success but mental wellbeing.

While Father Ryan provides student support, we also recognize the importance of equipping everyone with knowledge about mental health. Here are some resources for anyone wanting to learn more about managing anxiety:

Apps:

• Calm
• Smiling Mind
• Stop, Breathe, Think
• Fabulous (daily routine planner)

Podcasts:

• Raising Good Humans w/Dr. Aliza Pressman

Books:

• Why Smart Kids Worry & What Parents Can Do to Help by Allison Edwards
• The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey
• The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal
• Raising Teens in the 21^st Century by James Wellborn
• If you or a family member is experiencing an immediate crisis, call or text 988.

 

​About Rhonda Jones

Mrs. Jones leads the Personal Counseling team at Father Ryan. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Mental Health Service Provider, and State Approved Supervisor. She is a member of the Tennessee Counseling Association and the Tennessee Association of Independent Schools. Mrs. Jones joined Father Ryan in 2014 and has her B.S. in Psychology and Sociology and a minor in Anthropology from Judson College. She earned her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Middle Tennessee State University.