Blog: The Importance of Belonging for School and Life Success

Now more than ever, schools and educators across the country are focused on the concept of student belonging. The Aspen Institute recently declared an “acute crisis of belonging that jeopardizes [students’] educational experiences, mental health, and future success.” Helping students feel welcomed and supported – the feeling of belonging – is vital at every school, public and independent.

Belonging has been central to the Father Ryan High School experience since our founding 100 years ago. When we opened our doors in September 1925, our first Father Ryan students felt the same sense of welcome and belonging that 209 students in the Class of 2029 experienced at our New Family Welcome last month.

While our founders did not use our promise – “You Will Be Known. You Will Be Loved.®” – they certainly embraced the idea of celebrating each student’s unique gifts. This is what Christ and our Catholic mission call us to do: to see each student in our care as an individual full of promise. This was the case for me in September 1977 when I started my freshman year at Father Ryan. I felt known and loved by my teachers and at Father Ryan.

The Father Ryan Definition of Belonging

For us, belonging means finding your place. Each member of the Father Ryan faculty and staff helps our students discover who they are and what drives them. For many students, it is an easy discovery process, but for those who may struggle to find their place, we are intentional about ensuring that they feel a sense of belonging.

We guide and encourage all students to step out of their comfort zone to try new things, discovering something that they never dreamed of.

As a Father Ryan freshman, my parish group led me to the Catholic Youth Organizations, which led me to the SEARCH retreat program as a junior and the Youth Leadership Workshop. An English teacher at the time created a service group called Ryan’s Unsung Student Toilers or RUST and encouraged me to join. He was an intentional leader—people wanted to be part of RUST. That is where I found my love for service and my sense of belonging at Father Ryan.

Last year, we had 103 juniors and seniors make SEARCH Retreat, and 36 students attended Youth Leadership Workshop. It is so encouraging for me when I talk with them about our common experiences through the program. 

Our students completed more than 17,000 service hours in the Nashville area last year. Additionally, we inducted 27 students into the Father Charles Strobel ’61 Service Society last spring, each completing at least 120 service hours. Service is a place where many of our students find their passion.

Belonging at Father Ryan

For first-year students and transfers, belonging begins when they are assigned to their House at New Family Welcome. We created our House System specifically to foster belonging. Each student and adult is assigned to one of our six Houses, each named for an important milestone in our history.

Our Houses make a large school smaller through curated “family” Mentor Groups. Every House has seven Mentor Groups of 20-25 students from all grades and two to three teachers and staff members. Our students and leaders meet as Mentor Groups each day for connection, spirited and spiritual activities, peer mentoring, service, and more.

View Our House System at Father Ryan Video.

We all know that the stress and anxiety levels are high for all teenagers today. Mentor Groups are an intentional way to help students have better mental health and wellbeing by creating a tight-knit small group beyond a student’s class, grade, team, or other activities. Students form deep and lasting relationships in Mentor Group, giving them a social-emotional tool to take a break from a stressful day. 

We continue our focus on belonging through our required Freshman and Transfer Seminars. The seminars intentionally show new students how to navigate high school and Father Ryan. I teach the Transfer Seminar. Having begun my Father Ryan career in 1986 in the English classroom, I believe it is important to stay connected to our students in this way.

Read more about how we use Seminars to help students belong and ease the transition to high school.

As Nashville’s largest private high school, we offer an array of resources from unique academic courses to a vast number of athletics, arts, and clubs. I heard students talking recently about the clubs they plan to join, and one said that he had heard Book Club was interesting, that Mr. Williams made it fun. You may not expect Book Club to be a hot topic for high schoolers, but that is a credit to our faculty who make our clubs so enticing.

Traditions are another way we help students know that they belong. We have a few newer Senior traditions that I love. One is having Seniors carry their childhood backpacks beginning on the first day of class. Our Campus Ministry Department started a new tradition last year by hosting a Back to School Sunset Mass on the Sunday evening before the first day of school. It was beautiful to see our students, parents, and teachers come together for this event, especially our new freshman students.

Another tradition is the first day of school Senior Sunrise, which is organized by the Senior Class. Seniors arrive before sunrise to eat breakfast in the Senior Parking Lot and be together as a class before the first bell. Nearly every Senior attended the event this year.

That night, I told my wife, who teaches at Christ the King School, about the morning tradition. She said her former students, now our Seniors, were not the kids who would have attended an event like that in middle school. What made nearly every Senior feel comfortable enough with each other to want to leave their house at 5:00am to be with their class?

Because they belong. They know they are seen, heard, accepted, and supported for who they are and for their unique gifts.

Belonging as a Critical 21^st-Century Skill

During the first week of school, I was in the faculty lounge making copies of a handout for my Transfer Seminar class. Teachers were discussing our cell phone policy. The Father Ryan cell phone policy is that students may not use their digital devices during the school day. That line has blurred over recent years with students using it in their House Mentor Groups, at lunch, or if their computer was not working.

We are enforcing the policy strictly this year. The faculty lounge conversation focused on how students are abiding by it – mainly because to get their phone back, a parent must come pick up the phone. That has been a great incentive, and several parents have reached out to thank us for the policy.

Teachers tell me how impactful it is to see how free students are in our daily Mentor Group sessions. A colleague explained that she asked her Mentor Group, “How many of you feel a little less intimidated, a little less awkward, because no one's taking a picture of you dancing or doing some activity in Mentor Group?” She said every hand went up.  

Also, another teacher told me that his Mentor Group talked about the “Gen Z Stare.” I had never heard that phrase before. He explained that people who are interviewing members of Gen-Z and parents of teens and young adults often get a blank, emotionless facial expression in response to questions or interactions.

Maybe it is a generational difference in communication styles, but I believe it is a response to increased virtual interactions and increased social anxiety from the pandemic. Kids in high school today were in late-elementary and early middle school during remote learning, a critical time for their development. 

We want kids to talk, not text, each other as the main source of communication. Combatting the Gen-Z Stare requires more opportunities to learn and practice these “soft skills,” and students cannot do this without a sense of deep and authentic belonging.

Our Principal, Francisco M. Espinosa, Jr., often tells our students to “Wake up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” In addition to helping our students truly belong here, we are focused on helping them understand the expectations and responsibilities of belonging in the world. This year, we are ensuring that the school uniform is worn correctly. How we present ourselves to the world matters. We teach students how to respond appropriately through e-mail, how to interact with adults, and how to conduct themselves during an interview. Even paying attention to when the bell rings and being on time for class is a crucial skill that impacts their success now, in college, and in life.

Teaching our students the “soft skills” or “people skills” is essential. Our students need to successfully interact with others and navigate college and workplace situations. Today’s top workplace skills are strong communication, teamwork, problem-solving abilities, adaptability, critical thinking, and time management. We teach these through the close student-teacher relationships we foster. When a student feels known and loved by our faculty, staff, and coaches, they ask questions, ask for help, and advocate for themselves.

Learning to Belong Through Empathy and Agency

A strong sense of belonging creates a deepened sense of empathy and agency, two essential life skills. Our service learning program helps to develop empathy. Our students do not just donate to meet the service-hour requirement. They interact with those whom they are serving to understand the need on a human level and to reflect afterwards on the impact of their service.

The Father Ryan motto of a Tradition of Faith, Knowledge, Service inspires them to interact with their faith. We welcome students of all faith backgrounds and provide the Christian example of a service approach: that they need to challenge themselves to be people for others and give back. We provide opportunities on our campus and across Nashville that inspire Father Ryan students to make a difference in the world.

Service learning teaches advocacy skills. Many times, a student must walk into a service organization without knowing a soul and must interact with adults and explain their purpose. They need to connect with the people whom they are serving.

Advocacy and self-agency are skills inherent in our personalized approach to learning. With our four levels of learning (College Preparatory, Honors, High Honors, and Advanced Placement), students have the ability to create their own learning path and move between learning levels as dictated by their academic strengths, challenges, and goals.

Moving between levels requires a conversation and approval by a teacher and parent, which means that students need to advocate and make a case for why they should move to another level. Often, we will encourage a student to advocate for a move, but we do not automatically make the change on their behalf.

Having agency over their learning builds confidence and develops the soft skills we want them to have. Most importantly, having our students develop the skills to advocate for themselves creates self-awareness and understanding of their strengths, needs, how they learn best, and how they can challenge themselves.

Download our Personalized Learning Brochure to learn more about our academic program.

A few years ago, I observed a College Preparatory English class. After hearing a student’s thoughtful answers, I encouraged her to talk with her teachers about moving to Honors English. Initially, she was not sure but said she would consider it. She ended up moving up a level and developed confidence that led her to advocate for being moved to higher-level History classes, too. I see the same confidence on our school’s LinkedIn page with more and more graduates challenging themselves with internships and stepping outside of their comfort zone.

The start of a new school year underscores another favorite time of year for me: Commencement, when I get to shake the hand of each graduate. They have an expression of confidence and joy as they step across the stage that comes from our consistent focus on belonging.

The Father Ryan 100-year-old tradition of belonging is rooted in our Catholic mission. Everything we do is centered in Christ. And one thing we know about Christ is that He wanted people to belong in the world and belong to him.

Our time-honored approach to belonging begins freshman year, helping students to understand who and where they are and making sure they understand our expectations. We encourage sophomores to do more academically, personally, and spiritually. By mentoring them to develop as leaders and empathetic community members every year, they become men and women ready to share their authentic selves and gifts with the world.

May it be a joyful, rewarding school year.